Urban Cartographer Online




Neither "PC" nor "MAC"!

("Politically Correct")              ("Mainstream and Compromising")







Editorial note:In the tradition of the season portions of the following article are, as our friends in the United Kingdom would phrase it, "tongue in cheek." The historical information, however, is accurate and verifiable.


From documents recently declassified in the aftermath of the Trent Lott - Strom Thurman birthday party scandal, another mystery has been solved.


The Office of Homeboy Security has discovered the answer to that age-old question asked by children during the Christmas season, "Why does Santa Claus use the chimney instead of the front door"?


It all goes back to the fact that the original Ku Klux Klan was founded on a Christmas Eve. (That happened on December 24, 1865 in Pulaski, Tennessee, and was instigated by six former Confederate army soldiers.)


The first Klansmen made robes and hoods from bed sheets and pillowcases and rode on horseback through the town of Pulaski. That triggered panic-stricken terror --because people believed that the nightriders were the spirits of Confederate soldiers raised from their graves -- and the Ku Klux Klan, as an instrument of terror, was born. (Quite a "Christmas greeting"!)


Since the original St Nicholas was a Black man, this situation presented quite a problem for good old "Santa Claus."


Remember now that Harlem, the "capital of Black America," had a St Nicholas Avenue many years before streets were named for such other well-known outstanding heroes as Frederick Douglass, Marcus Garvey, Martin Luther King, Adam Clayton Powell and Malcolm X.


The town of Pulaski, Tennessee was named for the Polish general who aided George Washington during the American Revolution. In that war, at the Boston massacre, the first person to sacrifice his life for freedom was Crispus Attucks, a Black man.


General Pulaski's homeland, Poland, has long recognized the contributions of Black people to civilization throughout history. To this day, that nation has shrines to the "Black Madonna," one of which Pope John Paul II visited a few years ago.


The jolly old fat man in the red suit, in the tradition of his ancestors, proved to be a very resourceful, inventive and creative person.


Rather than risk a violent confrontation with cross burners on the front lawn, he chose instead to land on the roof and enter the house through the chimney to leave his Christmas gifts.


In doing so he solved multiple problems.


First, if he encountered someone in the house who had been infected and poisoned by American racism and could not envision a black Santa Claus, he could attribute his black face to the chimney soot and avoid a foolish argument during a time supposedly celebrating the birth of the "Prince of Peace."


Secondly, he avoided being strung up from a tree by the drunken, wicked mob of Klansmen outside in their sheets and hoods.


Finally, he spared Rudolph and the other reindeer from being carved up into venison steaks while poor old St Nick dangled from the rope of a lynch mob.


Two lessons from the Ancestors:


"Freedom and Responsibility are Siamese twins. You can not have the first without the second."


"God don't like 'ugly' and ain't too particular about 'pretty' -- Think about the consequences of your words and actions."







© 2002-2011, Stan Daniels, Editor,

Urban Cartographer Online


All rights reserved.




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